ON FACEBOOK

I wanted to blog a bit on the madness that is Facebook. No, I didn't get on board from it's inception, in fact, I'm a newbie. I had jumped headlong into the bandwagon fairly recently but have been stuck eversince - I won't deny it, I can't, at one point I even publicly confessed that it was official, that I was a social networking junkie, teetering between highs and lows and withdrawal symptoms everytime I've tried to quit (I think cold turkey might be the only way to do it!) By now I have exactly 341 friends, my aim is to hit the nice round number of 350, not too quite a ways to go, and then I'll probably stop accepting and adding people. But that's nothing compared to the number of friends others I know have. It can hardly be an accurate gauge of one's popularity, can it? Well, if you think it is, you might be in trouble. That calls for a major major rethinking of your whole life's purpose if you feel that you need lame comments from high school girlfriends to tickle your ears & validate your self-worth. That's just sad :(

I read on an MSN article once, that the brain can only process and assimilate as much information of the equivalent of up to 250 FB amigos/as, that includes things like their overtly provocative TMI pics, the use of Facebook, particularly, the status update box, as their medium to whine, brag-plain (brag and/or complain), blast people to kingdom come (figuratively), wish people dead, buy and sell, get mushy and wax poetic, profess true and everlasting love, close business deals, review movies or restaurants, root for their hometown's hockey/basketball team, forecast today's weather in their respective parts (e.g. balmy weather in Florida, blizzards in Montreal, torrential downpours in Manila, tornadoes in the midwest, earthquakes in California, a gloomy and overcast afternoon in Manchester, and a sandstorm in Dubai!) to post and annouce just about anything under the sun from various classified ads, beloved family pet obituaries, actual engagements, divorces, weddings, births, adoptions, dating couple's monthsaries (eyeroll), Joey's first communion, baby's first, uh, gas-passing, David's Bar-Mitzvah, the conclusion of Ramadan, Keesha's cookout, Sarah's garden tea party replete with dainty cucumber sandwiches, excerpts of the lyrics of cheesy love-ballads, inspirational (?) quotes, latest acquisitions (new house, car, shoes, toothbrush) to the details and particulars of last night's shindig and midnight snack and today's brunch menu, etc., etc. and this list is not even remotely exhaustive! Of course, I am guilty of posting things of the exact same nature as some if not most of the above and I'm actually over MSN's prescribed limit by just shy of 100. No wonder I can't keep up. I don't even know why I even bother, at the end of the day does anyone really, truly give a rat's backside? (Rhetorical question)

Here's another thing on Facebook: you'll also find a chocful of viral video clips, again anywhere from funny spoofs (plural spooves? not sure!) spin-offs and parodies, music videos (like!), baton-twirlers, bollywood dance numbers, my fave and infamous(not mine personally!) clip of an actual C-section set to the relaxing strains of elevator music, elephant births, spoilers of the results/winners to many a reality competition/show, because people don't realize that there are what exists, different time zones, and just have to be the first to break the news to ruin the element of surprise for you after you had only religiously watched every single episode week after week for the entire season. (Gasp!) gory ones of mutilated people and even beheaded ones (which I've opened by error and in my horror!) I swear, I couldn't tell from the thumbnail-sized pic on my Ipod touch!) - images that have been indellibly seared onto the front lobe of my left-side brain (oops, song lyric! lol) and will haunt me forever. Disturbing, very disturbing.

And while Facebook provides gossip fodder in abundance (e.g. who got smashed drinking too much punch at the company's annual picnic, and who got canned for getting smashed drinking too much punch and tried to get their freak on with the CEO's son at the company's annual picnic!) and is supposed to be a fun and harmless way to re-connect and keep in touch with friends and family and perhaps rekindle old flames (not so harmless!) there are both potential & real dangers, besides the risk of developing physical conditions such as carpal tunnel syndrome, various RSI's, failing vision and a marked drop in one's Intelligence Quota, it serves as a lurking ground and bottomless resource for the unscrupulous and shady stock, out to get your personal information, assume your identity, defraud and empty your pocketbooks and sadly also for the absolute bottomfeeders/scum of the earth, namely, pedophiles (Please, can't emphasize it enough, please do not post pics of your painfully cute kids in their birthday suits even if you strategically pixelate some areas). I wanted to sound this warning especially since I have a couple of friends, who in their excitement, and a momentary lapse in better judgment, broadcasted their trip to Cancun this week over FB. Not a good idea, that's just asking for trouble, to let everyone know that your place will be empty for so long, unless of course, you also mention that your friendly wee little pet pitbull, Spot and massive Rottweiler, Chewy (short for Chewbacca and also known to chew on peoples' body parts) will be minding the house in your absence. Hopefully, that will serve as a deterrent, otherwise it's like an open invitation to clean out your place, drywall and all! Those people happen to be some out of my handful of real friends on Facebook, ones for whom I am, in all honestly, willing to die for. No, I don't mean to insult or embarass them in any way, this is just my way of looking out for them! (Although I might be a bit jealous for not being able to tag along to sunny Mexico!) Be safe my dear FB friends!