Monday, September 20, 2010

Re-setting the Odometer

So I went from believing that the very heavens wept on the day of my mom's passing to thinking that the world would end. Apparently not, for sure enough, the sun rose this morning as it has for aeons, ushering a brand new day - how rude! I carried on as usual - what else does one do in the wake of such a sad event anyways? I went to run an errand and while I was walking, thought to myself, how many people out of the ones I'm meeting had just lost someone or is contending with similar distresses? At a glance, it's hard to tell, it's not easily discernible - not from across the street, across the room nor from across the cash, it is. And then I wondered, who else of these very same people in turn, could be wondering likewise? At face value, of course, it's not readily apparent. And life does go on! I can't exactly assume a fetal position in a corner and sob all day or can I?

Life's tough - sure, we enjoy stretches of halcyons and experience pockets of joy every now and then, but everything in between is just hard.

I'm still waiting for the heart-wrenching or searing or shooting or sharp or whatever kind of pain it is I'm supposed to feel because all I'm feeling right now is still this dull ache in my chest that's been here for months...

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