Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Kumar: My favorite Metrosexual Part 1

Please do not get me wrong when I call him metrosexual, I'm definitely not putting his masculinity into question nor am I poking fun at his manhood and again, in saying manhood, I mean his state of being a man, you know maleness, as distinguished from femaleness...not the hardware...lol. I am in no way diminishing this quality, trust me, lol, last time I checked, my husband is very much, uhmm, man...but of course, we won't go there, no adult content in this blog!

What does it mean to be metrosexual? Well, this is what the Urban Dictionary has to say:

You might be "metrosexual" if: 1. You just can't walk past a Banana Republic store without making a purchase. 2. You own 20 pairs of shoes, half a dozen pairs of sunglasses, just as many watches and you carry a man-purse. 3. You see a stylist instead of a barber, because barbers don't do highlights. 4. You can make her lamb shanks and risotto for dinner and Eggs Benedict for breakfast... all from scratch. 5. You only wear Calvin Klein boxer-briefs. 6. You shave more than just your face. You also exfoliate and moisturize. 7. You would never, ever own a pickup truck. 8. You can't imagine a day without hair styling products. 9. You'd rather drink wine than beer... but you'll find out what estate and vintage first. 10. Despite being flattered (even proud) that gay guys hit on you, you still find the thought of actually getting intimate with another man truly repulsive.

Now going back to the subject at hand, what do you think? Does Kumar fit the bill? Does he fit the profile? Again, for those who know Kumar well enough, I can almost hear their resounding YES, YES, YES!!! But I do not want to alienate members of the general public you know, my super huge following (lol) who lack the good fortune and do not know him from Adam! So let me elaborate a little, let's consider each idiosyncrasy which as per UD, characterizes the metrosexual and see whether they apply to my rare gem of a husband, Kumar.

1. Not only does Kumar like to shop, he works in retail, so he pretty much lives and breathes it. He actually has a college degree in Electronics, but he quickly abandoned his old boring job of fixing cellphones when the opportunity to work at Harry Rosen presented itself (Harry Rosen is Canada's leading high end men's wear retailer). Fashion is his vocation. He thinks out what he's going to wear the night before, almost too well, that once, a client at the store, from her peripheral view, had Kumar, who was quietly standing perfectly still at one corner, mistaken for a mannequin! The poor woman, almost had a heart attack when he finally moved! Sounds like something straight out of a Just for Laughs prank, doesn't it?! Kumar once told me that apparently, whenever he runs his hands over the silky signature Burberry tartan ties, knubby tweed Brioni suits, buttery smooth Andrew Marc leather jackets or luxurious cashmere Brunello Cuccinelli overcoats, his problems just go poof and they're gone...just when I thought that only I had that effect on him...I guess not, if anything, I think I actually compound his problems (lol).

2. Yes he has a goodly number of Hugo Boss and Cole Haan shoes and an assortment of watches (he has a penchant for bigfaced, hang-on-the-wall-sized ones) and yes, pocket squares and cufflinks. But I'd rather focus on his ties. As responsible parents, we have been going over the details of our last will and testament for sometime now. I recall how our notary of choice told us that she would not require info concerning real estate or our other assets and liabilities and the usual things like that because the bank would have all of that anyways. What she really needed to know in order to draft up our will, was if there were any items, knicks knacks, anything at all in particular that we would want to bequeath to certain persons and while I was stumped, not owning anything of significant value, sentimental or otherwise, Kumar immediately gasped "Oh, my tie collection"!!! If I'm not mistaken the last time he counted them, they numbered over a hundred!!! Standard size ones, skinny ones, in an infinite array of colors, textures and patterns - paisley, polka dots, geometric, floral, striped - some vertical others horizontal and even diagonal??! Flashy fuschia and lime green ("very Etro or Versace" says Kumar!), metallic gold, bronze and silver, conservative burgundy, muted tones of brown and grey, every shade of blue, and what's this?...a solid black silk brocade Armani fit for a groom, ooohhh! All being 100% silk except for one woolen plaid one which is reserved for when he is going for the preppy-look...Valentino, Armani, Hugo Boss, Ted Baker, Zegna, Robert Graham...Thankfully with the birth of our little guy Jaden Alexander,14 mos, there is now a rightful heir. The only question there is, though, is will he grow up to be dapper and metrosexual like his father? Hopefully yes, with Kumar's careful coaching, that is, as how disappointing it would be (especially for Kumar!) should he one day begin to fancy wearing his pant's crotch down to his knees, Oh, God forbid! Because if that were to be the case and if we would no longer happen to be around at that time for one reason or another, even then, in a lifeless supine state, I know Kumar would turn over in his grave (lol). Will Jaden take after his father? That, only time will tell....

Must get back to my vacuuming....to be continued.....


  1. Aimeeeeeeee.....

    I can't believe I'm just discovering your blog now! Suggestion: you might want to add a link on the Info page of your FB profile.

    I *love* that Kumar's supportive of your writing. I too have a hubby that is, well...cleaner than me. ;þ Thankfully he doesn't need to dress up for work, or you and might might be in the same boat overflowing with ties.

    Looking forward to your future posts!

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. hey farah, of course you had just discovered it now for it had only existed for what? two days? haha!

    Actually, I owe it a lot to you for inspiring me to follow through.

    Btw, have u read the one on Channing? Coz I've mentioned you there (lol)

    Thanks for the support, I am now following yours as well, I am so sorry, I'm really new at this whole blogging thing!

    Looking forward to your next post, too!

  4. a metrosexual is an arrogant, narcissistic fool who cares about nothing but himself. as a child he might have been ridiculed by his peers about his looks, and/or he had inferiority complex, and/or he was jealous of the kids who wear better clothes than him. now that he's an adult and has a job, he spends all he got buying the trendiest clothes so that he can flaunt to others. he may read some fashion magazines and try to learn a thing or two about the high life and then go out and show off to others how classy he is. he shows off everytime opportunity allows. he loves to ridicule others on their looks as he was ridiculed. he delights in meeting people who are inferior to him. he is conceited. he thinks all people like him. he manipulates people aroiund him to heap praises on him. he might even make some to write blogs about how goodlooking he is. and a true metrosexual is the one who says he is a metrosexual.

  5. Aimee, I just finished part 1 and love it! Kumar and I are very much a like. The last time we spoke over the telephone, the majority of our conversation focused on our clothes. LOL

    Tell Kumar I said hi!

    James Bond